Mistakes
by AliJessie72
Summary: Narla oneshot


CARLA'S POV

As I opened the flat door I saw him. The love of my life. The man I wanted more than anything in the world and had until I broke it. I broke us and everything we had together. "Carla." He whispered. As the words emitted from his lips my heart melted. I hadn't heard his voice in so long. I missed the feeling he gave me in my stomach, the constant butterflies, the constant warmth and comfort. But most of all I missed his embrace, the embrace we once used to share together.

I leant my body against the door and let out a sigh. "Nick." I whispered. "Where's Leanne?" I said dishearteningly. I couldn't believe that Nick had ran back to her just minutes after we had finished. As if we had nothing together. As if we were just a bump in the road.

"She's at the flat." He looked down at the floor. I could see from his body language that he didn't feel comfortable talking about her with me. But I knew exactly why that was, it was because he still loved me. That's why he couldn't speak about her because he couldn't bring himself to lie to me. Because he didn't want to hurt me. Because he loved me.

"Does she know you're here? I mean it's not like I don't have a track record for having affairs with her blokes." I said.

"But that's not going to happen Carla." He replied sternly.

"Isn't it?" He shook his head and walked through into my flat. Our flat. The flat we use to share together. "You love me. You'll always love me Nick." Tears built up in my eyes. All I wanted was for him to grab me and pull me into his embrace. But he didn't.

"I love Leanne." He said as he leant against the worktop. The worktop we use to eat our breakfast on as I gazed into his caring eyes and told him how much I loved him. Just like I was doing now.

"No, No. You don't. You love the feeling of stability. You love being a father figure to Simon. You love that's she's not a rollercoaster like me. You love the fact she isn't me. Because you can't get over the fact I hurt you and you hate the fact you love me." A tear falls down my face as the words escape my dry lips.

"That's not true Carla." He shakes his head and backs away from me.

"Are you sure about that Nick? If you don't love me why are you here?" I stand beside him, the distance in between our body's killing me.

"I came to tell you I'm happy." I laugh as the words escape his mouth.

"If you were really happy you wouldn't be here. You wouldn't need to warn me off." I walk over to the counter and pick up the bottle of wine that I'd placed on the side before Nick had arrived.

"I love her."

"But do you love her more than you love me Nick. That's the question and we both know the answer." I hand him a glass of red wine and take a sip of my glass. As the blood coloured liquid ran down my throat I stared at him. I knew he was about to give into the temptation.

"And what's the answer?" He asked before he placed the glass on the coffee table and walked over to me before taking the glass out of my hand.

"That's she's not me." I said. "She'll never be me just like Erica wasn't me. You can't tell me you don't lay awake at night wishing I was beside you instead of her. You can't tell me you don't wish she was me." I placed one hand on his neck and rested my forehead on his. "Just give in Nick. It's going to happen sooner or later." I whispered seductively before I placed my lips on to his. He wraps his hands around my small frame and he begins to relax his body.

As I curled my body into his side I rested my head on his bear chest. I felt whole again. The feeling of warmth had me in its grasp and I didn't want to be released, I never wanted him to let me go ever again. "Nick." I whispered as I looked up into his eyes, I could see happiness but I could also see regret. I sat up and leant my body on him, "What's wrong?" I whispered as tears formed in my eyes, I knew he was going to leave me. I knew we were saying goodbye.

He sat up and moved away from me as if I was nothing. As if nothing had happened. As if it meant nothing but it meant everything, as he picked up his shirt and began to button it up he let out a sigh. "You can't tell anyone about this." My heart broke, tears fell down my face. I felt cold and numb, I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "I mean it Carla, this was a mistake." I shook my head and fell to the floor.

"No Nick. Don't you lie to me. I love you. I'm sorry and you know I'm sorry, that's why you did this. Not because it was a mistake. I made a mistake! You... you followed your heart." He looked back over at me and then looked down at the floor. All I needed was for him to hold me in his arms like he use to and tell me he loved me. But he didn't. Instead he left. As I heard the door close I felt my heart break. I felt empty. Actually no, I felt fine. Feeling Insecure, numb and empty. Everything that I wasn't when Nick was around.

NICK'S POV

As I closed the door behind me I leant my body against it, just like she did. I hated how much I loved her, I hated the feeling I got in my stomach when she was around me. I thought I'd moved on but I hadn't. I don't love Leanne. I don't love the life we have together. Not like I did with Carla. I loved the life we use to have. I wish we could go back but we couldn't. She broke my trust, she broke everything. But I shouldn't have said what I said. She wasn't a mistake, she was anything but that.

As I put one foot in front of the other I reached my flat door, but that wasn't where I felt at home. I only felt at home with Carla. It never mattered where we were as long as we had each other. But we no longer had each other. We were both alone. She didn't only hurt me, she hurt herself and she now had to live with that.

As I placed my hand on the door handle of the flat me and Leanne shared together I looked back. I could see her flat door. All I had to do was turn around, but I didn't. My pride was too thick to swallow.


End file.
